Cast of Characters
3B-this moniker came from his prenatal name: Baby Boy Bradstein. I’d change it if I wasn’t too busy to think of an alternative
Barky-our dog, who is alternately an adorable pooch and a dirty ol’ egg-suckin’ hound
Brother #2-He’s my second-oldest brother, and a much better writer than I am.
Cousin D1-He’s my sixth cousin, by birth order, but it’s much more complex than that. He leads a much more interesting life than I do.
Mama-the love of my life, who is smarter, funnier, and more beautiful than anyone
Papa-that’s me . . . I’m just some guy
Did I miss someone? Let me know, and I’ll try to explain. And for more detail than you’ll ever need about me, here’s my response to one of those emails that comes around, from a good friend from college:
- What is your occupation? Senior Associate Editor, Web Content
- What color are your socks right now? White. Gray toes and heels.
- What are you listening to right now? nothing but the air conditioner blowing, since the baby’s sleeping in the next room
- What was the last thing that you ate? chocolate chip oatmeal cookie, hot from the oven
- Can you drive a stick shift? Yes. Unless you’re asking Steve Beitzel.
- If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Red, dude. Red.
- Last person you spoke to on the phone? My wife
- Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes, although she never calls, never writes, *sigh*
- How old are you today? 38, I believe
- Favorite drink? Right now it’s this red wine spritzer that I’m nursing, but generally, hm, water?
- What is your favorite sport to watch? Live: Baseball or college football TV: Football
- Have you ever dyed your hair? Once or twice. A month. Whether I needed it or not. But that was then, this is now.
- Favorite food? How about favorite restaurant… I can’t narrow it down to one dish, but the short list is Mom’s macaroni and cheese, dim sum, Indian food. Restaurants? I’d have to go with Cho’s and Haandi.
- What was the last movie you watched? Are you kidding? I have a 10-month-old child. I’m lucky to know where the remote is.
- Favorite day of the year? Winter solstice, because from that point on, the days are getting nothing but longer, baby.
- What do you do to vent anger? Focus.
- What was your favorite toy as a child? Snoopy doll. The one that’s on the top shelf of 3B’s closet.
- Most missed memory? Seeing Mom hold 3B.
- What is your favorite fall or spring? Spring. Everything’s being born.
- Hugs or kisses? Hugs. Unless kisses are from the right people, they bring nothing but disease.
- Cherries or Blueberry? Cherries from the tree, spitting the seeds anywhere I please.
- Do you want your friends to email you back? I suppose, but they won’t.
- Who is most likely to respond? Strangers and spammers, most likely
- Living arrangements? Condo, with my wife, son, and neurotic hound.
- When was the last time you cried? Don’t know.
- When was the last time you laughed? Hm. Don’t know for sure. Probably the last time I talked to Mama.
- What’s on the floor of your closet? Eeyore, Puff the dragon, a peek-a-boo block, Clever Color!, Horns to Toes—it’s one of 3B’s favorite places to play.
- Who is the friend you have known the longest that you are sending this to? You tell me, although my siblings read this, so they probably beat you.
- What did you do last night? Last night? Are you kidding me? I have a 10-month-old child. I’m lucky to know what I did tonight.
- What inspires you? Good music.
- Who inspires you? Mama and 3B.
- What are you afraid of? Depression.
- Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Veggie burgers with cheese. And onions. And tomatoes. Some relish wouldn’t hurt.
- Favorite dog or cat breed? Whatever Barky is … half beagle, half nutball.
- Dog or Cat? Dude, dog.
- Number of keys on your key ring? Nine.
- How many years at your current job? Almost five.
- Favorite day of the week? Saturday.
- How many states have you lived in? California, Montana, Colorado, Washington (DC—technically a district, but I’m counting it as a state here), Virginia. How many is that? Mmm. Wine spritzer.
- Favorite holiday? Thanksgiving, when I get to see my whole family.
- Ever driven a motorcycle or heavy machinery? No.
- Who’s your favorite NFL team? 49ers.
- Do you have a house phone that is NOT cordless? What are cords?
- 10 inches of snow or 100 degree weather? 100 degree weather. Mmm. Wine spritzer.
- What is your favorite thing to listen to? 3B’s laugh.
- Where would you like to go on a vacation? Anywhere with Mama and 3B.
- What type of music do you listen to? Anything, just play it loud.
- Favorite type of movie? I’m stumped here. I almost wrote “Ones in which things happen,” but then there’s Koyaanisqatasi.
- Shoes or barefoot in the summer? Barefoot.
- List 2 words to describe the person who sent this to you? Generous and funny. Ooh, and tolerant of me (I’m thinking of that time we traded her for a few buckets of milk and some eggs in the dorm lobby).