Please, no open flame within 100 yards of 3B

Mrs. Leverlilly: But that’s a priceless Steinway!
Inspector Clouseau: Not anymore!

Zygote Daddy wrote about a smell that they don’t tell you about in childbirth class, and we just discovered another, although it shouldn’t have been a surprise.

3B has always been able to rip off huge farts that sound like they split his diaper or came from an adult, and we’ve always been able to laugh over them because they were all sound and no fury.

Not anymore.

As we’ve started to feed 3B solid food (read: rice cereal gruel paste), there have been definite changes in his throughput, but nothing compared to what’s happened now that we’ve moved on to green beans. I know, I know–beans. Why were we so surprised, right? I don’t know why we didn’t think that 3B would be as afflicted by beans as an adult, given his propensity for adult-size farts. We’re not surprised after last night, but we continue to be amazed at his ability to curl our nose hairs at 20 paces with his gas.

The scary part, however, is that in his quest to jam every shiny thing within his vision into his mouth, he’s become fascinated by our beer bottles. I’m glad he can’t drink until he’s 21, because I really don’t want to be anywhere in the tri-state region downwind of 3B for his beer farts.

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  • Zoinks. I am not looking forward to seeing (and smelling) the remains of “real” foods. Luckily that is some months off. He can exclusively breastfeed until he’s, like, 12, right?

  • Priceless.

    And classic.

    (I may just nominate you for a perfect post award.)

  • Wow, rice cereal to green beans? You guys are brave. I recommend pears. I don’t recall any heinous farts from pears.

  • Ah, the joys of not being able to smell! Of course, LA Mommy can’t understand why I won’t gladly take over all the poopy-diaper changing duties. And I tell her, darlin’, I can’t smell but I can still see…

  • I CAN’T WAIT TO HEAR BABY FARTS!

  • …just wait until he eats blueberries…and corn….and grapes.

    Suddenly, from afar, you will hear your partner say, “When did he eat blueberries? His poo looks like speckled tar!”
    …oh, the fun & games of parenthood!