From the paper of record in what I consider to be the home of the straphanger comes this report, which explains that British straphangers are constantly packed like sardines into trains, so tightly that some have to stand three to a lavatory–so tightly, in fact, that the drink cart can’t make its way down the aisle.
OK, hold it right there, Brits. You have drink carts on your commuter trains? I thought it was bad enough that we have carpet on the DC Metro trains, but drink carts? Hell, I’d definitely give up the bike ride if I could get a hot toddy in the morning and an dry martini (up, olives, clean, please) on the way home.
Then again, you are paying hundreds of dollars (or pounds, or euros, or stones, or whatever you people use over there) more than we are. If I was paying as much as you are, however, the drink cart wouldn’t be my main concern–in those crowds I’d be pissed off that the masseuse wouldn’t get through for my reflexology session.
Although they can’t sit down, the good news is that British straphangers are packed in so tightly, they don’t have to worry about having enough straps and poles to hang onto, since they hold each other upright. “Straps and poles”? God, that makes the trains sound like some sort of strip club. OK, did I just mention straps, poles, and strip clubs on my daddy blog? I’ll just wait by the phone for Child Protective Services to call.
Why my sudden concern, on a daddy blog, about standing on trains? Because 3B’s going to need those straps and poles as of today, when, for the first time ever, he pulled himself up from a seated to a standing position without any assistance. He’s been building up to it all week; it was just a matter of time. The motivator this morning was his Casino Royale, which he pulled himself up on, making it a slightly more impressive feat, since that whole thing is spring loaded and therefore as wobbly as Foster Brooks on a bender.
After letting 3B savor the moment, I did grab him and drop him into the casino seat to avoid the bad kind of headbanging–the kind that requires neurosurgery, not the kind that results from scoring Metallica tickets. As he gets better at defying gravity, however, his Casino Royale, with all of its bouncing and swaying, will be a great place for him to perfect his subway surfing skills.
And he won’t even have to mind the gap.
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