Typing with my forehead

I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one who’s tired enough to fall asleep typing my own blog post. Maybe it’s a strain of narcolepsy going around?

Man, will I never learn about the narcolepsy jokes? One night, Mama and I were next door with our neighbor and the guy who rented his extra bedroom at the time. The renter, an accountant who was trying to break into improv comedy, was telling a story about driving at night to a narcolepsy study. Being the genius that I am, I assumed that he was conducting the study, so I made some crack like, “At least you weren’t the narcoleptic driving to the study at night.”

At which point the room fell completely silent.

It was so quiet, I think I heard a fly cough two floors down.

After about five years or ten seconds (depending on if you were inside my head or watching a clock), the accountant said, “Actually, I was the subject of the study. I am a narcoleptic.” At which point I stopped moving, hoping that his vision, like that of the Jurassic Park dinosaurs was based on motion and that I would disappear from his sight if I remained frozen.

Aaanyway, what I was going to write about in this post is how I’ve been thinking more about the Earworm from Hell, and realizing that it’s probably the music that the Star Wars Kid was dancing to. And then there was going to be a subtle transition into how I’d create a mashup of the two, except that I can’t, since Mama is on our desktop (video editing) computer all day and night, as a result of how busy her consulting gigs are.

And then I’d segue into a lamentation/explanation of how this is also the reason why the Walk This Way video is still in production–I’ve only had about 10 minutes of computer time since y’all voted on it. At this time, I’d probably sneak in a note about our dirty little musical secret: 3B loves Van Halen (please, no Van Hagar, the boy has some taste), especially Hot for Teacher. Admittedly, it has a lot to do with the drum solo, but I’m not sure if that’s a good omen for his academic career.

And then I’d wrap up with something about how we’re both stressed by how much work we have with our new jobs and how hard it is to fit in all the things 3B demands and that we want to provide for him, but isn’t Mama’s work so cool (we may be going to Ethiopia!), and isn’t she brilliant, and ohmigawd how are we ever going to keep up, much less catch up with all the crap we have to do?

Then there was going to be a final thought, tying back into my crack about the Star Wars Kid, along the lines of how difficult parenting is and how, even with constant, borderline-neurotic monitoring of a kid, things can go so far astray so fast, and so permanently.

And it was all going to be so riveting that you wouldn’t be tempted to point out, as my sister did, that I was trawling the shallow water at the bottom of the barrel for material for my posts. But I fell asleep in the middle of conceiving of that fascinating post, so now you just get this meta/outline version of it. (I was only awakened by my own screaming when I realized that Blogger again randomly renamed a post–my last one. It was originally “Earworm from Hell,” not “Bradstein Household.” For all of its bugs and difficulties, Blogger is so clearly the red-headed stepchild of the Google family.)

If someone else wants to guest write the rest of this post, connect the dots and color in the blanks spots, go for it. But, when you’re done with it, please don’t wake me to let me know how it came out–I’m already in the middle of sleeping through tomorrow’s post.

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  • Call me a hermit, but I had never heard of the Star Wars Kid. It’s sad to read that he was scarred by the whole experience — yet another example of why being famous apparently actually can suck.

    Better get your sleep now while you can, because I bet the accomodations in Ethiopia might not be as nice!

  • I remember the Star Wars kid. It brings back your mother’s advice: Don’t do that or your face will freeze that way. In this case, more apt advice would be to be careful what you do in front of a video camera. Personally, I have frozen lots of funny faces, but they all knew what I was up to at the time.