I learned that 3B can sleep for 13 hours (that’s all the way until 9 a.m., for those of you keeping score at home). He is more likely to do this the more likely it is that you have plans to meet someone for a play date.
I also learned that wrangling 3B while on a play date at a farm–well worth the trip, by the way–means that I won’t get any pictures or video of him or his adorable friend. In lieu of pictures, a brief description: “want to go over there!” “want to go over there noooowww!” and then cows, turkeys, some other forms of poultry, 1000s of children, tractors! ohmigawd! tractors you can sit on, even if they don’t go anywhere there are switches and levers and steering wheels and hey why are the parents not paying attention to any of this? and then goats, sheep, piglets nursing from a momma pig as big as our refrigerator, cows again, and then a playground where I had to tell a boy to stop pushing 3B for the first time–funny how you don’t have to learn some things as a parent…just thinking about it again ticks me off–and then shutdown, loud singing in car to prevent one of those tiny car naps that just makes everyone cranky, and finally collapse at home.
I then learned that if I get 3B home about two hours late for his nap, he’ll still take one. Thank goodness, since I had work to attend to.
3B learned, “No flag, no country.” He then claimed a visitor parking spot and some nearby lawn in his own name.
I learned that it’s possible to get fitted for a tuxedo while wrangling a toddler. It helped that 3B loved to shut himself into the fitting rooms and wait for me to come get him. After determining that there was nothing dangerous in the changing rooms, I was more than happy to let him wait. I did remember to retrieve him before leaving the store.
I also learned that apparently, nobody at Men’s Wearhouse has ever considered picking up the tens of thousands of straight pins that have fallen on their floor. Special thanks to 3B for pointing this out.
Also, a word to the wise…if you leave a bag of dog poop in the car because you’re a responsible-type citizen and there are no garbage cans around, and even if it’s not that warm because it’s almost evening, when you come back to your car, it will smell like hot death. Not even your dog will like the smell.
This has been a public service announcement. Had there been any useful information, it would have been part of our news broadcast. And that’s the way it is.