Two years ago, I had enough spare time to write about losing my sunglasses. (To your credit, my six loyal readers, few of you had the time to read about that thrilling incident.)
Two years ago, I wasn’t quite a father, but I was still a jackass.
Two years ago, when he was born, 3B had two grandmothers. Now he only has one. Grammy–Mama’s mom–is wonderful, and I’m so grateful for her–not just for the favors she’s done for Mama and me, but for all that she’s given to 3B: love, toys, time, and so much more. However, at times like tonight, when I’m thinking about 3B’s second birthday party tomorrow, wondering what we should do, how it will go, and trying to remember to do things like take pictures to share with family, I miss Mom.
I know that I’d have every intention of calling and asking her questions tonight and then I’d space out and fall asleep before I did. And I know that tomorrow, when we talked, I would ask, and she’d say, “I don’t know, you’ll figure it out. Before I forget, did you see that story about the sewage plant in San Francisco?” I’d tell her that Brother #2 sent me the link to the story. And then I’d ask her if any Starbucks near her were going to close, and then we’d keep talking so long that I wouldn’t prepare for the party at all.
Then, I’d have to hang up because guests were arriving, and even though we would be unprepared, we’d figure everything out…which is pretty much how I operate every day around here.
I wake up most mornings totally unprepared, still unable to find my sunglasses, and still I somehow figure it out, because it’s worth it–so much more worth it now than ever before, and every day more so. Mom explained this best when she wrote me a follow up email after I called her for some comfort as I suffered through leaving Mama and 3B to go back to work. We had been talking about how much we change after we have children.
Subject: It all started with Brother #1
Thinking about daddy going to work every day, reminded me of how I got into the routine of showering every morning before making breakfast for him. The routine lasted through 6 kids. I was afraid that the baby might have a problem while I was in the shower, when I could not hear him/her. While daddy was still there, he could hear and take care of any difficulties. And so new habits were created. I learned to get up when daddy got up, to get my shower before fixing breakfast. I’ve never been a morning person, but it was worth it.
More later. Love, Mom
Back in those days, I would sometimes get up before Mom and Dad did, and go snuggle between them in bed. These days, I soak up all the sleep I can get, so when I’m on daddy detail in the morning, I sleep as late as possible and skip showering.
What can I say? I’m still a jackass.