16 lies I’ve never told before

This is in response to the meme that’s spreading through Facebook as quickly as a cold spreads through a preschool from one snotty sleeve to the next. Even though I’ve already answered previously, I was accused of cheating by a good friend.

Not wanting to have to produce a blood sample to prove my hematocrit levels were legal when I wrote those previous replies, I’ve coughed up this list to prove that I’m clean.

Why am I posting it here? Because, thanks to the magic of the innernets, this will automatically show up in Facebook, which is good since I’m too lazy to post it there myself.

  1. I’ve been to Fez, but no, I didn’t buy one.
  2. I love to read, but I read novels rarely now, although I’m not sure…hold on, I have to go write a tweet…OK, I’m back, what was I saying?
  3. One, if not the only, high point of my political career was forming an anti-apartheid group in high school that organized schoolwide assemblies on apartheid, built a shantytown at our school and raised, like, $100 that we sent…somewhere.
  4. I never got a thank-you note from Nelson Mandela for my important work freeing him and bringing an end to apartheid.
  5. I did get an award for that work, however, which is one of my proudest accomplishments.
  6. Some of my most prized possessions are books signed by Allen Ginsberg, Billy Collins and Thom Gunn and Wanda Coleman.
  7. I often wish that I’d been able to hear Michael Hogan read from Rust, but just as often think that it’s more perfect as it lives in my head, particuarly the poem “Love.”
  8. I don’t think I met anyone smarter than my siblings until I met my wife.
  9. I think that our son may be smarter than all of us combined.
  10. Did I mention that I love my family?
  11. I’m pretty sure my dog loves me–but only because I leave boxes of chocolate near the edge of the kitchen counter.
  12. I would have loved to have been an astronaut, which might have been more likely if I didn’t while away my days in AP Physics playing gin rummy.
  13. Dad played the accordion, so I never reviled it as an instrument–besides which, c’mon…Clifton Chenier–and now that 3B loves playing his little accordion, I love the sound of it.
  14. Watching 3B play all of his musical instruments makes me regret not learning more about playing music than to drop the needle carefully into the groove.
  15. Although I say that I want an Aston Martin, what I really want is something more like this or this.
  16. I frequently tune out any list over three items long.
  17. Meaningless rules and boundaries irk me.

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  • You can send me either one of those for my birthday instead of the Aston Martin, and I will be happy. I already have 3 Treks in my bike barn (two are not mine) but none as nice as those.

  • I’ll let you get away with posting one place and letting a feed post it elsewhere automatically, but I still think posting a meme response consisting solely of links to other posts is cheating.

    What is that about AP Physics? I got a A in that class, somehow, and then totally tanked on the test. I believe I signed my name on it, therefore earning an automatic score of 1 out of 5. I didn’t care because I was going to be an English major anyway, mwuahahaha.

  • CAGirl: As soon as I win the lottery, you’re on. We have a Trek and a preTrek (Bontrager, made by Keith himself in Santa Cruz just before he was bought out) ourselves. I guess we need another to keep up with the Joneses.

    Amama: Cheating still counts. I don’t know what the deal is with AP Physics. I think I got a 2 or 3 on the test. I can only assume that most of that was for creativity.

  • We have more bikes than we have cyclists, which is why the bikes live in the shed. Three out of four of us ride Trek. I looked at a fourth one, but bought the child a Wii for Christmas instead. When you have more cyclists in your house, you can keep up with us.

  • Technically it’s a trike, but our fourth bike is a Kettler.