Going crazy as kitteh curing cancer

I’ve spent 30 minutes on each of the last two nights on my bike in the family room, riding to nowhere. My goal is to make it to Provincetown, at the tip of Cape Cod, by August 4 this year, and since I haven’t moved forward an inch on my bike, I’ve still got a ways to go.

Despite my lack of movement, I’m encouraged by the progress I’ve made on the more difficult journey: fundraising. You, my six loyal readers, have generously gotten me off to a good start already, taking advantage of my offers to early contributors to

Thinking about your support motivates me during my family room rides more than whatever I find on Netflix–this week I’ve been making my way through MI:5 episodes, so after I get off the bike, I’m sweating more from the tension of the latest fictional terrorist plot than the actual effort of riding. That’s not to say my mind doesn’t wander, though. A cousin once asked about my long rides through Vermont if I talked to myself. I said no, since I don’t often vocalize my thoughts, to which he said that when he was out all day and night on the tractor, he always talked to himself.

After he heard that I like hills and helpfully sent me on a route that included a hill that’s got to be a 14% grade, I was talking to him while I was riding too.

Fortunately, our family room is flat, but I did have a few thoughts as I rode, watching TV and our kitteh amuse herself chasing, capturing and releasing pipe cleaners, markers and motes of dust:

  • Our kitteh is insane.
  • Has it really only been six minutes so far?
  • Why did I buy this bike saddle?
  • Is it too early to get off and have a snack?
  • Maybe a sip of water?
  • I think I’m making progress. I’m sure that I just got closer to the TV.
  • What?! It’s only been seven minutes?
  • Why didn’t anybody tell me that cats are certifiably insane?
  • Who was the first guy to think wrapping a pipe in black electrical tape made a good bike saddle? And can I have five minutes with him outside, in the alley?
  • Eight minutes? The battery in my bike computer must have died.
  • Might as well have another sip of water. What else am I going to do?
  • Why didn’t Freud warn us about cats?
  • A cookie is equivalent to a Clif Bar, right?
  • Where did all my water go?
  • Oh, now I remember why I use chamois cream.
  • Nine minutes?! What the @$#%? I’ve been pedaling so fast, maybe time started moving backward. Yes. That’s it.
  • Did anyone tell our kitteh that cats always land on their feet?
  • I have to pee.

You can see why I need your support to think about during these tedious training rides to nowhere. If I don’t have that to think about, I’ll end up as crazy as kitteh.